Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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