I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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