laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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