i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
