I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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