already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
