Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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