I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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