I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
