Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
