I just made out with a guy for $7.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize