yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I cut my penus on the lid.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
