Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
