Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
