We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
