thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
