Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
