I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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