im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize