u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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