Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
