He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
