he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
