now i know why i became what i already was.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
