she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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