You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
