I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
