just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
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Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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