The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
