I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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