Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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