break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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