C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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