The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's shark week go big or go home
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
