What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
