Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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