no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
