SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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