I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just want to make out with him forever
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
