I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
