Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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