i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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