I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
