at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
