Can Purell be used as lube?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
