i think my tv is drunk
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
