and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
