Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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