her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
