Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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