had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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