I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
