Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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