My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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