And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
