I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
