i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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