Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
