Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
