i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
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Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
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my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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