After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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