Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
